


she's an american beauty (and an american psycho)

by orphan_account



Series: We Could Be Immortals [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Violence, trans!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 02:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5189348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While out on a heist, the Fakes come across another immortal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	she's an american beauty (and an american psycho)

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm really hesitant and scared to post this. I have no idea how the RT fandom really feels towards original characters, though I have seen some fanfics with OCs in it. Who knows. I hope you at least enjoy reading this.

Bright blue eyes looked past the barrel of the gun, a single brow raised. Her heart was pounding, her pulse quickening as adrenaline pumped through her system. A thin layer of sweat covered her body from the exertion it took to try and fight the man. She knew exactly who he was, exactly why he was pointing the gun at her face, and accepted what was about to happen. She'd let him get his revenge for her killing on of his crew mates a few weeks before, but she'd come after him soon enough after she revived.

“Well? Are you going to do it or what? I haven’t got all day, dude. Got shit to do and all, y’know?”

The shot echoed throughout the large warehouse and she dropped, body limp. A large puddle of blood quickly grew around her head, a bullet having gone right through in between the eyes. The person behind the gun scoffed and put it away, walking out of the warehouse and leaving the body behind.

* * *

“ _Look who's digging their own grave, that is what they all say. You'll drink yourself to death. Look who makes their own bed, lies right down within it, and what will you have left?_ ” A woman with short, fiery red hair sang under her breath, idly rubbing her forehead as she bobbed her head to the music coming through her headphones. The shot from earlier that day had left her with a headache and blood in her hair, putting a huge damper on her good mood.

Sam was at the bank, hoping to withdraw the majority of what was in her account. Los Santos was getting boring, which was saying something considering that the Fake AH Crew basically ran the city and were constantly causing some sort of excitement.

She adjusted the hoodie she had on, tugging on the sleeves so that the majority of her hands were covered. The bank tellers always got uneasy when they saw her heavily tattooed body, so she always tried to keep them covered. It made it easier to convince them to give her what she wanted.

“Everybody get on the fucking floor!” A man shouted, suddenly walking into the bank, firing off a few warning shots from his assault rifle. People screamed and followed his instructions, kneeling down and covering their heads. Yeah, as if that was going to stop a bullet.

The redhead kneeled down and removed her headphones, shutting off the music. “Out of all days, it had to be today.” She sighed, watching three people follow behind the first. One of the masked men shot the security guards, and one went to the teller’s gate keeping people out of the room that led to the vaults.

One of the masked men was shouting at everyone, firing rounds off at the floor and screaming at the hostages. He even went so far as to call one of the women Martha Stewart. That was far more entertaining than it should have been. They kept control of the crowd, shooting off warning shots when someone would get too fidgety.

After a few minutes, the alarm finally went off. She saw one of the hostages reach inside their suit, slowly standing up as the two doing crowd control turned their backs to the room. Just as the other two masked men rushed into the room, the hostage pulled out a gun.

Not really caring about what the consequences would be for doing it, she shifted and followed where the gun was aimed. “Look out!” She shouted, launching herself at the masked man and tackling him as the gun went off. She felt it graze her shoulder, but let out no sound of pain. Without wasting a second, she rolled onto her back and sat up, pulling a handgun from the back of her pants and firing a shot.

The room was frozen, even as the alarm blared and the sounds of sirens got closer.

The hostage dropped, a bullet hole right between the eyes. “Did she just-?” Geoff trailed off, eyes wide behind his mask.

“What the hell…” Michael breathed, having been the one tackled.

Sam turned back to him and smirked, adjusting her beanie. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

She idly tucked her dog tags, which had been pulled out from under her shirt and hoodie when she stretched, back into hiding. They were the one thing she refused to part with, even after all of the years since she last enlisted.

Michael stared at her, taking in the person who’d just saved him from (temporary) death. Even if he would just respawn, it would have been annoying to deal with that. It always took a good half hour for him to revive, and they didn’t have a half hour to wait for him. They were in a middle of a heist, for fuck’s sake. “Thanks?”

“You need help with the getaway? You’re gonna have a good majority of LS’s cops after ‘ya, it’s gonna be a lot’a heat.” She offered, standing up and holding her hand out for Michael to take. He grabbed her hand and she tugged him up easily, biceps bulging under the hoodie.

“You want to help us?” Geoff questioned, eyes narrowed at her in suspicion.

Sam shrugged. “I have nothing better to do, and it’s not like I can what I wanted to when coming here.” Reaching into her pocket, aware of the fact that Geoff was watching her every move, and pulled out a pair of prescription glasses. Immortality had gone nothing to help her eyesight, that was for sure. She blinked, finally seeing things clearly, and noticed the crew staring at her. “What? I didn’t wear my contacts today. Too hungover.” She tried to defend herself. “Are we going to shoot some shit up or not? Let’s go.”

Sam kicked the door open and walked out, lifting the gun and firing at the first cop car she saw. The other four followed behind her and started shooting as well.

“Who’s the chick?” Ray’s voice came through the ear coms., sounding confused. He was on top of the building across from the bank, his sniper aimed at the scene below.  

“She’s coming with us. Offered to help with the getaway and all.” Michael answered, shooting a group of cops.

“She’s not going to try and kill you guys to take the money, is she?” Ray asked, shooting and taking out the cops that the crew didn’t shoot.

“Who knows. If she does, we’ll just kill her.” Ryan answered him, loading a grenade into the launcher and shooting it towards the cars. It blew up, causing the squad cars on either side of it to explode. Sam let out a surprised yell, face splitting into a grin at the explosion.

“C’mon.” Geoff grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her along behind him as they started running to where they’d left the bikes. There were more cops at the end up of the alley that they had to dodge and shoot, but it was easy enough.

Sam got on the back of the bike that Geoff got on, holding onto his shoulder with one hand while she kept the gun held in the other. She purposely chose to get on with him instead of Jack or Ryan, so that they wouldn’t think she would try and kill them to take the money. They took off, weaving in and out of cops that had stopped in the road.

“I can’t shoot like this!” She shouted, after trying to turn and shoot at the cops and failing to hit. It put too much strain on her arm and shoulder, and she'd like to actually hit the cop car with a bullet. “Try and keep the bike upright, will ‘ya?” She said before beginning to shift, pressing down on Geoff’s shoulders while she struggled to make her way into his lap.

“What are you doing?!” He exclaimed, moving his arm so she could get in front of him.

“I can’t shoot backwards, dude. So sorry for the awkwardness that comes with this.” She was now straddling him, arms hanging over his shoulders as she fired the gun. Quicker than she would have liked, she ran out of ammo. Patting down her hoodie pockets told her that she had no more clips, and she cursed. Without giving it a second thought, she pulled the gun in Geoff’s bag out and turned off the safety.

Geoff suddenly swerved, just barely pissing a cop car as it reversed.

“Let’s not die in the middle of our getaway, yeah?” She griped, taking aim and shooting at the car as it followed behind them.

They continued on, heading towards Blaine County. Geoff went off of the road and into the grass, going over bumps and small hills. Sam struggled to stay on, her legs locking around his waist. Jack followed behind them, going into the grass as well, and Sam waved at her with a grin.

They just barely made it out alive. Ryan, or Vagabond, as Sam knew him, drove off of the cliff instead of stopping. The other four stopped and got off.

“You’ll have to hold onto one of us. There’s not enough parachutes..” Geoff said to her, and she shrugged.

“I’ll hold onto you, I guess. And if I fall, well, I’ll get back up.” She smirked, waiting for Geoff to put on the parachute.

“You won’t get up, you’ll be dead.” Geoff said, wondering if she was like the rest of them.

“For like half an hour, yeah. I’ll get back up; have been since the 1700s.” It was amusing to watch surprise go over the crimelord’s face. “Yeah, I’m immortal too. You and your crew aren’t the only ones.”

He nodded and she jumped on him, wrapping her arms and legs around him. She hated to think that she would be causing wrinkles in the tailored suit that the man was wearing.

“Weeeeee,” Sam squealed jokingly, feeling the wind try and pull her beanie off. Keeping an arm around Geoff, she brought her hand to her head and kept the beanie from flying away.

They didn’t quite land in the boat all badass as planned.

Ryan went under it, Michael hit the side of it, Jack landed on it but ended up falling backwards into the water, and Geoff hit it belly first. That ended up squishing Sam under him, the woman groaning in pain as she was slammed into the boat, his weight pinning her down.

“Get off, fatass.” She grumbled, shoving him off of her and into the water. He came up a few seconds later, sputtering and spitting out water.

They all got into the boat, and Sam was faced with the situation of having no seat. So she sat in the middle of the four seats, her legs crossed as she leaned back on her hands.

“So how much money do you think you guys made?” She questioned, closing her eyes and letting the tension fall from her shoulders.

“Probably close to a million or so,” Michael answered her, and she hummed in thought.

“You know, about a hundred thousand of that was from my account.” She opened one eye, glancing at Geoff.

“What, you expecting to get it from us?” Michael snapped, glaring at her. 

She turned her attention to him and shrugged. “Nah. I only wanted it to get out of Los Santos. Now I got a reason to stay, so I don’t need it.”

“And what is that reason?” Geoff asked her and she grinned.

“You guys, of course. You’re quite the entertainment.” She replied, winking at him.

“You think we’re gonna keep you around or some shit?”

Sam looked at Michael and punched him playfully in the knee. Despite the sour attitude from him, and the suspicions from Geoff and Ryan, she still kept the grin on her face. “I do have the effect of growing on people.”

Nothing more was said after that, besides a scoff from Michael.

When they stopped the boat and got out, Sam gave them a two finger salute and a grin before walking off on her own. They watched her go and immediately hot wire a car, getting in and taking off.

“That was...not as planned.” Jack commented.

“When does shit ever go as planned?” Michael shrugged.

That certainly wasn’t the last time they would see Sam.


End file.
